The feeling of HUMAN SPECIES being a parasite is getting stronger every day. We all want progress, development but paying tenfold the price for it, seems like a vapid idea. We all have a business person in us, but, it is slowly turning into a thief. A thief of natural resources, other people’s virtue and soul.
I believe you all must have heard about ZAINAB, the girl who was raped and murdered in Pakistan or about the Delhi rape and murder case or the Mathura rape case or Jessica Lunsford case or Sandra Cantu case, even if I write for days at a stretch I won’t even come close to finishing the list. And the irony is that all the malefactors blamed their deed on the victim.
We humans always find a way to pin the blame on somebody else so, we stay clean. No matter if it is a crime against humanity or the course of daily life, taking responsibility is not our strong suit. We cannot just take and take and take, and make the other person completely hollow and not expect them to buzz. The buzzing will soon make us all deaf and we will still be crying, asking, what is it that we did wrong!
I greeted the New Year with all the positivity I could find in me and planned the heck out of it. It’s only been a week and I have already read a book and have watched five movies. The New Year always brings a great promise, a promise that the dreams will come true and things will be exactly the way I wish them to be. I know it isn’t true or even healthy to believe, nevertheless, this is my reflex. I am one of those people who hardly stay awake after ten O’clock, but, there is something glamorous about the New Year’s Eve.
So, this year, for the very first time, I experienced the cliched moment of striking the clock twelve and feeling Utopia can very well be earth, with my friends. We weren’t in a club, soaked in liquor but in bed, discussing the spiritual realm.
The possibility of souls being trapped in purgatory or possibly they don’t or can’t leave because there is no afterlife, everything is here and now, no there and later. The possession of the human body and the extent of its destruction. There are so many strands being tied around our neck, I don’t understand why we choose to add to it. Anyway, there were a lot more to our skull session than just, spiritual realm.
And soon the yackety-yak turned into yawning and, the New Year was here.
Humans, even the predictable ones do not love the idea of monotony. We all crave change, a clean slate, a fresh start that a NEW YEAR brings. Another chance to try for things we want, we need, we wish.
But, is it enough? Just having a New Year. Making a resolutions’ list, only to disregard it. Isn’t it so much comfortable to just go back to the old habits, feeling somewhat accomplished because we tried.
I watched a TED TALK the other day where the speaker said that the major problem with current living Humans is that we are okay with just trying. We do not strive to accomplish or to be the best. We believe it is healthier to be easy on ourselves but in this process, we forget to give our everything, to try with every ounce of energy we have, only because trying is enough.
At first, I thought that he is being unreasonable because the thought of accepting that I am also one of these Humans was not something I wanted to entertain but as I kept on watching and he kept on explaining, I was in the category he wanted me. It didn’t lead to an epiphany, but it was definitely a pinch from reality.
A pinch to wake me enough to start making changes, slowly. Today I start blogging again, I do not remember why I stopped, but It doesn’t matter anymore.
So, this year I am not just going to make resolutions, I am going to make a life I want. Because I don’t want life to be a ‘Moo Point.’
It was all right and very productive at the same time. I don’t know if I was responsible for this all right month or the so called people I know.
Just like every new year I was motivated, I was going to make things happen and I was going to be “me”. Oh, don’t worry I was me this month actually the whole month, it’s just I was the version I don’t want to be.
I did so much this month, I was so into my resolutions and was trying so hard to achieve them. And I managed to tick off 4 things off my list- 7 Cliches for 2017.
I joined a course to learn french and I am really loving it. It is not as easy as I thought it would be but I do like a challenge so it’s perfect.
I also wrote a poem *yay, I am a poet*. Obviously, it doesn’t rhyme because I cannot rhyme, it is a free verse and I am actually pretty proud of it.
I found an amazing Chinese restaurant and the perfect thing about it is that it is in my area *low-key dancing*. And the food is “yum”.
I am also half way done with my room, it is not exactly a sanctuary right now but it is pleasing to my eyes.
Mentally- This month was a little rough, I had problems more than usual but somehow I managed to overcome them or maybe I just suppressed them like always. I don’t like talking about it which only adds to it and even if I do talk about it I don’t see a positive outcome.
Physically- It was all right. Still taking medicines, still visiting doctors and still don’t have a permanent solution to whatever I have.
Conclusion- I am ecstatic about the progress I have made and I am trying really hard to be the version of myself that I want to be. And it’s all okay.
Stay Awesome Humans.
It felt so lonely here, amidst them all
All the loved ones were here and the dear ones too
If it was a feeling of a phase, I don’t know
No one tried nor did I and the feeling or phase seemed more perpetual
And then I moved from wretched to anxious and then to serene
Now I’m happy being alone, makes me content
All the noise is gone and I’m calm
Today I know the contrast in alone and lonely
I understand both, I respect both, I espouse both
I acknowledge happiness is awesome, but the Universe doesn’t revolve around a smile
I think Mortal in White is a pretty simple name and really easy to understand. I decided to name my blog that because well, I do not have any secret identity and I do not belong to any different species I am just a basic homo sapien, not that basic but you get the idea. I like to call myself a mortal because it’s definition is “subject to death”. The idea of death or leaving everything is just too big to imagine but it is something we just cannot escape so why not just embrace it. I know that the life I am given can end anytime by a car which just crossed the red light for fun or by someone who just didn’t like me or by someone who liked me way too much, endless reasons. So I like to live my life not denying the truth and not being consumed by it either. And White is my favourite colour which is why I am mostly spotted in white hence Mortal in White.
I am a 20-year-old student of literature, Journalism and language. I really want to learn as much as I can and that is why I like to treat every day like a blank canvas which I can paint any colour I want. I like to believe I have a lot of years and days to live but god forbid if I do not then I would like to make the best of today.
Steve Jobs once said, “if today was the last day of your life would you still want to do what you are about to do today?”. So, would you?
On a completely different note: plan as much as you can, have fun as much as you can, laugh as much as you can, just be yourself and embrace yourself.
I know it is my second post and yes I am already complaining but the struggle is real. I am all inspired to write and to create pictures that are good but the obstacles are just way too many. I always wanted to write or do anything visually creative and I wanted to start a blog before it was an ‘it’ thing. I used to work as a professional content writer *did it only almost for a year* but wasn’t really satisfied with it maybe because there were restrictions and set boundaries which are obvious, you cannot write a travelogue or poem or journals for an educational website *yeah, it was an educational website* because it just won’t make sense. So, I left my job as I wanted to continue my studies but between leaving my job and starting my classes I had a two months break. It was fun in the beginning I finally got to relax and catch up on things I liked but it slowly started to become frustrating and I started getting annoyed by everything and everyone. That was the time I thought that why haven’t I started a blog yet I have been wanting to do it for so long now. So, I brainstormed names for the blog and then signed up and then customised my site and it was finally up. I was so happy and then I started writing articles for the blog. Just when I was done with my first article which you probably have read and if not then go, check it out. It finally dawned on me that why I was avoiding starting a blog.
I do not like getting my pictures clicked but I don’t want to use some random images from google, I wanna use my own. It is my blog and I want it to reflect my personality so naturally, I want the subject of the pictures to be me or something I like or feel connected to. So, for the sake of me, I decided to give it a try but then there was another problem.
You need a photographer to click pictures obviously but finding a person with enough time is hard and for me, it was really hard. All my friends were busy with their classes and my family members with their work. So, I waited and waited and finally one of my friends was free enough to do the task for me *shout out to Vatsla who clicked the pictures for my first blog post*. She was ready with the camera and we found the location we wanted and it was time to pose. Just when I was getting in the zone I realised I had another problem.
Without even realising, I caught the attention of people who had nothing to do with me or the thing I was doing. They were just standing there and staring like I wasn’t already awkward enough. They just stood there without blinking but somehow my friend managed to make me comfortable and in no time we were having fun. All the awkwardness was gone, I was not feeling nervous anymore and that’s when I realised that It is worth it.
In the end, I was glad that I did it and when I finally uploaded the post I was relieved and a little bit proud. I could see myself actually happy in those pictures and it was exactly what I wanted because no matter how and what I wrote I was not able to put my feelings completely into the article but the pictures did it for me and I finally understood the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words.” And I know that things do get a little harder before they get better and now I know that they definitely get better. I hope each and every one of you is having a good time and if you are not don’t worry you are just at that awkward stage right now, scared of the camera but soon without even realising you’ll move on into an amazing time. Oh and check out CollegeDekho the website I used to work for, my articles are still up.